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If I didn’t have reason to reject discovery before, now i really do.
There was a reference in Discovery season one or two to SQL, as if it was cool. Sigh.
@StillPaisleyCat @skullgiver
From an old trek book, the hardware is canonically IBM. https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Star_Trek_The_Next_Generation:_20th_Century_Computers_and_How_They_Worked
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Lisp. All is Lisp.
Data’s entire consciousness was written as an Emacs package.
Klingons program in Brainfuck. A Warrior’s Language!
Vulcans exclusively use APL.
The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.
Python is banned across the known galaxy. If your race is discovered using it, your planet is immediately bombarded until the entire crust is molten.
Cardassians use Haskell because they’re evil.
You missed out Q Basic.
Holy shit you win, lol
That’s what the Pakled use. The best of them actually use QuickBasic to “make it go faster”.
The F in Ferengi stands for Fortran.
If Ferengi were to use a language that old, you’d think it would be the COmmon Business-Oriented Language.
And it would cost money to license the compiler, like Intel.
Just to add - obviously all Ferengi programs run on a Blockchain, and are riddled with microtransactions.
I’ll just add that Data was previously built as a Vi plugin, but it was evil, so Doctor Soong disassembled it and shut it down. A lot of trouble could have been saved it Dr Soong had learned how to actually exit Vi.
Evil as in emacs evil-mode?
Pakleds use scratch
Are you sure? They might have learned something then. Or did they get stuck with a turtle-logic compiler instead?
PHP was invented by a Pakled
The Q continum uses forth.
Hahaha, why no python?
The reason has been purged, intentionally forgotten. Vulcans train their entire lives to take on a dangerous task: once every 66 years, the very best of the best view the reason why Python is banned. Once viewed, the Vulcan confirms that it is indeed a just and necessary action to ban the ancient language.
After the task is complete, the Vulcan goes utterly, irretrievably insane and dies mere hours later.
It’s the GIL isn’t it?
I think Vulcans wouldn’t develop any higher order languages, as programming in assembly with some solid logic is free from leaky abstractions.
It’s clearly because someone had to work with the Python logging package. Or had to call subprocess.
Subprocess is great, just UTF8 encode your strings and never ever ever pass input or receive output from the sub process.
Logging is fine, it’s traitlets that I’m struggling with right now. Lack of comprehensive documentation means I have to read the source and that is taking me forever.
Interesting. Traitlets looks to Java-like (overly in love with objects) for my taste.
For typing, I’ve been reasonably happy with MyPy.
For everything else in Traitlets - well, that all sounds too OOP for my comfort.
Ooh, that’s another reason to burn Python to the ground and never speak of it again - it supports multiple-inheritance.
I’m going with Vulcans using APL*. Why create a language that makes you do more than just write the equations?
@StillPaisleyCat @startrek Of *course* their programming language would require a special keyboard.
🤫
No malbolge? https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Malbolge
@bloopernova Wouldn’t the Vulcans prefer Prolog?
What about php
C. It is eternal.
There’s an episode in DS9 where OBrien mentions an issue caused by a pointer fault in the holosuite.
To me this is canon.
Yeah, my C programs too tend to randomly evolve sentience.
You’re probably not using enough global variables
Three centuries later, they still haven’t rewritten everything in Rust.
SMH should have rewritten in Rust
C will be swapped out function by function with Zig.
In such a case, I suspect that Zig will be absorbed by C using a maneuver that I call “The Zig Zag”. After all, C is eternal.
Nooooooooooo!!!
Have you seen how people do programming? We see lots of it in Voyager around holograms. It’s basically today’s AI programming assistants on steroids. everything probably uses some fucking 300 years JavaScript as a basis, and that’s why everything keeps breaking all the time.
I really want to see an episode of Lower Decks where the captain watches engineers write programs, comes to the conclusion that “programming is just talking to the computer – I can do that” and fires all the engineers (or transfers them to other functions.)
Thanks, I read it in Freeman’s voice.
Yeah they just tell the computer what they want. They’re prompt engineers hundreds of years in the future. Programming, replicator, holodeck, lights in the quarters, whatever. Makes you wonder what all the button pushing is on the bridge. Maybe because it’s quieter than everyone talking over each other?
Thank you for plausibly explaining every holodeck episode. That’s canon for me now.
One million lines of BASIC!
Unstructured Basic (with no documentation naturally.)
This is simply too good…
Binary
Honestly I’ve always imagined them using a more natural interface just like when they speak to the computer. So when they run commands it’s essentially ai driven, and so is what they see on their screens. Why ever touch a piece of code when an ai can manage it for you and offers a natural interface with flexibility. It would simply be inefficient to do it any other way.
Makes sense, if you have an infallible ai. Bc it’s probably outputting machine code and that wouldn’t be so fun to debug.
C+++
lieutenant commander data structures.
You know it’s JavaScript
Wow. That would explain why a light tap to the shields causes everyone’s interface to explode in their face.
The only example given on Memory Alpha is a decompiled section of StuxNet https://memory-alpha.fandom.com/wiki/Programming_code so that implies that C and C++ are both still in use
No, nothing on discovery is real.
Polarity reversal
Not a language, but isn’t there some beta canon somewhere that states that LCARS is a derivative of Linux or something?
Waiting for an engineer to pull up holo-Torvalds to debate C vs rust the way they pull up holo-Einstein to argue relativity.
Or holo-Leah Brahms to have creepy relationships with.
Computer, run program Stallman1.
GPL V2 detected. Program self terminated.
UFPLisp
@ZenkorSoraz To paraphrase a developer from the ‘80s: “I don’t know what the language of the future will look like, but I know it will be called Fortran.”
If it’s the original series, one has to assume that whatever programming is done, is done on a teletype. Nowhere in Star Trek:TOS is there a screen with words on it, because when the show was made… screens with words on them weren’t how you got info from a computer.
