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Cake day: July 2nd, 2023

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  • I’m not God’s gift to the field, but I am clearly better than most of my competition - that is, practitioners who haven’t put in the reps to build their own C libraries in a cave with scraps, but can read textbooks and use libraries written by elite institutions.

    I agree not reading isn’t a virtue, but after reading something that caused my eyes to roll entirely out of my skull, I had to choose to cut the damage to my optic nerves.

    Maybe the rest was good. That was bad. My critique is constrained to that specific, nauseating paragraph.




  • I’ll rephrase them, except in good faith:

    1. Talking directly to the people about the work is better than a 95 state JIRA pipeline

    2. Document your finished working work, not every broken POC, because that’s a waste of time

    3. If the contract isn’t actually going to meet the desires of your stakeholders, negotiate one that will

    4. If you realize the plan sucks, make a better plan.

    My company paid to have Kent Beck come to workshop with our Sr devs. I expected to dislike him, but he won me over pretty quick.

    I don’t remember what it was, but someone was like “Kent, we do X like you recommend in the manifesto, but it creates Y, and Z problem for us”

    And he was like “So, in your situation it isn’t providing value?”

    Guy was like “No”

    “Then stop doing it.”

    It’s not hard. It’s the most fucking common sense shit. I feel bad for them because these guys came from a world where there were these process bibles that people were following. So they wrote like, basically a letter saying “if your Bible doesn’t serve you, don’t follow it”

    And all these businesses dummies were like “oh look, a NEW bible we can mindlessly follow”








  • DATA Mister Biggie, and Mister 2Pac, Brooklyn may never know how you saved them from calamity last night. But rest assured, I know

    • Biggie and 2Pac look at eachother, confused -

    BIGGIE Yo, what you talkin’ about computer man?

    DATA I know that you and Mister 2Pac were able to help disarm that woman’s explosive device last night after the party

    • Biggie and 2Pac still visibly confused -

    DATA, SENSING THIER CONFUSION: I believe you described the emergency situation as a “bomb-ass pussy”

    Biggie and 2Pac start laughing hysterically and high five

    2PAC Yeah we did!

    BIGGIE AND 2PAC CONTINUE LAUGHING

    CAMERA PANS UP TO THE BROAD SKYLINE AS A NEW DAY DAWNS

    MUSIC AND FADE OUT




  • That model breaks down a little bit (well, a lot) when you try and reconsile the TNG EP where Picard and Guinan and Kieko and Ro turn into kids and they use some transporter fuckery to get them back.

    The physical structures of their brains strictly would have been different post-transport as they went from a physically smaller child’s brain to a physically more massive adult one… if consciousness and memory were strictly a function of molecular and energy arrangement, they couldn’t have done it (or at least, they wouldn’t remember the time when they were in a child’s body)