Semi-Hemi-Lemmygod

Worf was as good of a father as he could have been to that whiny little shit

Oracle is a law firm disguised as a tech company

One common thread between these projects was that we used actual, physical note cards to track things. They were also logged in Jira, but the standups were 5-10 people actually standing in a room tracking burn down and status with cards taped to a wall. Nobody wants to be standing for more than 15 minutes, and anything that needed a sidebar was handled with a smaller group in another impromptu meeting.

“Never tell them how long it will really take! How else will people see you as a miracle worker?” - Scotty

Congratulations you’ve just been promoted to product manager

I’ve been in agile projects that worked really well and didn’t have soul-sucking, time-wasting meetings. It can be done well, it just isn’t most of the time.

What maniac hangs out around the house in a goddamn suit and tie?

Both of them require glasses. I guess the master race has astigmatism.