Prologue: Long time Reddit subscriber, this Lemmy thing seems neat. I will probably ditch Reddit completely. Hi everyone!
tldr; joined new team two performance review cycles ago. Reorg before I joined, now have inexperienced manager who is different than hiring manager. Things went downhill after a while, probably due to personal issues, now my job is at risk. Another reorg with new manager happening soon, trying to save myself from layoff until then and trying to save my rep. Wondering how to do this best.
Hey! So the situation is that we’re still having a hiring freeze, but soon I’d have a new manager anyway if I can stay in my current team. I like everyone else I’m working with. I’m worried that if I tell my skip level these things openly she may consider me a backstabber. In a different job market I’d probably already have left, but right now that’s difficult.
Expressing concerns to skip level + a little shade towards boss = backstabber
Expressing concerns to skip level + a lot of praise and respect for boss = excellent employee seeking to solve problems
I like the book “Crucial Conversations”, in a sentence it teaches how to be 100% honest, and 100% respectful. How can you be both honest and respectful with either your boss or your skip level boss? Don’t leave out the show of respect.
I agree overall but it also depends. In this economic climate with layoffs common backstabbing is not the worst short term strategy. OP would essentially be using their accumulated political capitol to make it more likely that their manager gets the ax versus them.
The skip is most likely doing a calculation of how much OP is worth versus how much the Manager is worth to the organization. Showing too much respect means the calculation is less likely to go in OP’s favor since even OP seems to see Manager in a mostly positive light.
I see what you mean. I said “a lot of praise”, but maybe that is too strong. Show respect, but keep the praise honest.
Too many people go for the “brutally honest” approach, never even considering the “honest but respectful” approach.
Just wanted to give a quick update on this as I always feel it’s nice for the people who gave advice to know what happened afterwards.
I went into the call with my skip level having prepared a ca. 5 minute long script. I made sure to pay some respects, tried to briefly address the main criticisms, and how I feel about them. Plus I mentioned some examples where things have led to conflicts. I also made sure to highlight once more the impact I’ve had so far and that I’ve developed a close bond with a few other senior devs. I told her that I understand the criticisms, and that I take them seriously, but considering my contributions so far I find an off track rating unjustified given the consequences it has. My skip level said they were considering it but nothing is decided yet.
She was also downplaying the importance of an off track rating, saying it won’t mean a layoff, as they would have other tools for that. And my skip level said she wasn’t aware that an off track rating would necessarily lead to a PIP (it’s company policy that off track = PIP).
As this isn’t too promising, I’ve started applying externally and will have a conversation with another team about a potential switch next week. I don’t want to rush things, but I also don’t feel like it would be smart to just wait this out and hope for the best.
I’m having the conversation soon, my skip level is not a beat around the bush kind of person but also has a “no assholes in the team” policy. Whatever that statement is worth, I’ll make sure to be respectful of my manager before approaching the rest of the conversation. I’ll share an update as soon as there are new developments.
Got it. I would say respect is good but don’t come off as too un-emotional since that might signal this isn’t important for you. Showing you’re upset at the situation is not a bad thing as long as you keep it in check and don’t go off on a 10+ minute rant. A seasoned manager is used to people offloading emotionally on them so they won’t take it personally (but they’re also human so too much will stress them which you want to avoid). Some managers even go to the point of classifying the different kinds/phases of emotional offloading: https://randsinrepose.com/archives/the-update-the-vent-and-the-disaster/
This is an amazing resource! I’ve read quite a bit through it now and bookmarked it. Very insightful.